Not surprising, the bond among a black woman to her fellow [Black] sisters’ is ironclad. What set the Black women apart from other women in the world is their history. A history of neglect, even by white women who were going through their own discrimination by their white male counterparts for the right to vote amid the feminist movement of the Mid-19th Century. A movement to end sexism, sex exploitation, oppression, and toward gaining complete gender equality.

Unfortunately, this movement never really panned-out for Black women. In the many years of discrimination, disrespect, the feeling of being unimportant, and all sorts of brutality; Black women found comfort in developing strong friendships with likeminded individuals who have experienced similar struggles in life as themselves. It all boils down to the proverbial cliché “Trust/Respect/Faith.” And as long as I have my females’ friends, I am never lonely, isolated or, lacking; and neither are they! 

It was once said that having female friendships are more important for the woman, than the male-to-male friendships. Spending time with close friends actually release serotonin and oxytocin- the bonding hormones which brings about enhanced wellness possibilities. The Black woman is a special purveyor of truth, loyalty, and a staunch believer in protecting her family and her inherent moral virtues. I believe that most of us (Black women) in this dismal society can assert that trying to find and make friends today is an arduous undertaking. Especially if you are one who is trying to see your way through the complex maze of economic misfortune, social upheaval, and a massive distrust among just about everyone.

As a Black woman, I know for myself when I meet someone that I am looking to befriend, I pour myself out to them in a complete and transparent fashion. I want them to see me for who I am right now, in the moment, and not feel I am being judged or looked upon negatively. That’s why [B]lack women are my go-to person(s) when it comes to solidifying a deep and profound relationship. That’s not to say I don’t have white or, other ethnic friends. It’s just that I can talk to and trust my closest friends that look like me at a different level. They are individuals who share my values and personal dilemmas. 

For instance, I don’t feel comfortable speaking with white women about my hair issues, skin problems or intimate relationships with my man. Whereas with another Black female, she can relate more readily, and provide some positive solutions and comfort to me as I go through whatever personal problem I might find myself indulged in at the time without the embarrassing gossip or, lack of understanding. Black women (and men) have been, and still are unfairly stigmatized in this country as being the angry “Black” woman or, (the violent Black man). Both not to be trusted. Unfortunately, this is another distortion by the establishment to push down on the black progress of both: Black women and men in their respective push for absolution and success.

Black women are extremely compassionate, and empathically concerned about others. It is for this reason Black women are very selective about who they choose to forge personal friendship with in the first place. Because if that friendship is disrupted or severed for any reason, it cuts like a knife [causing insurmountable emotional pain]. My friendship with four other Black women goes back approximately 22- years. Albeit we all from one time to another have had rough roads to cross where we may fallout of friendship for a while. Fortunately, our abatement is normally short lived, and [never] to the point where the trust-bond we developed over the years are forever severed. When one has a problem, the others immediately intervene to help ameliorate the problem before it worsens, thereby bringing all parting sisters back to the alliance. 

My girlfriends are my soulmates, and we have a different relationship from anything I am involved in, including that of my husband, siblings, children, etc. With my friends, I can curse them, challenge them, and even say horrible things to them, but in the morning, all is forgotten — like it has never occurred. It is unconditional love, and a real friendship. That’s the essences of true friendship. One linked by our common interest, religion, or trade. As my principal relationship with family is always first in my life, my friendship with my sisters/companions are also important in its own “special” way as it relates to my personal space. 

They (my friends) motivate me when all goes awry, whether on the job, in my marriage, and even health related matters that I don’t feel comfortable disclosing to my husband, parents or other family members. My dear sisters represent my alter ego, my marriage counselor, and the best part of me. She/they are my trusted womance — a close but non-sexual, non-romantic relational partner(s) — in my personal life’s journey (exceeding the usual friendship one garner’s in life)! My sisters have a good soul and will never do anything to hurt me. They don’t have to be perfect, just loyal and trusting spirits. [READ ABOUT THE SECRETS TO WOMEN AND MEN RELATIONSHIPS BY CLICKING HERE]